2019 year end review


Welp, it’s that time of year.  You know I love doing an audit of my year and planning for a new one, so let’s dive in, shall we?

This took me a full 3 days to do, #classicoverdoer, but you might find that simplifying the process works better for you.  Fortunately for me I’m mostly unemployed so I have time to plan.  And planning means doing for me, so it’s worth the time investment.

I started with a full audit of 2019.  Every event got logged, then categorized in these 9 sections: Spiritual, Emotional, Intellectual, Physical, Marital, Social, Vocational, Avocational and Financial.

I also listed every risk I took, because I believe that one is incapable of growing without risks, so I aim for them.  I also listed wins for the year.  Then I transferred them all to color coded post-its which got filed under their categories.  This helped me visualize where I was weak in areas, and strong in others.

Surprises: I thought I did poorly in the social area, but it turned out plenty of time was spent with friends.  There was also quite a lot of spiritual service related things that I didn’t love, more on that later.

Not surprisingly, there weren’t any real financial risks.  The ‘ole 401k is steadily growing, but we don’t have any kind of risky stocks or investments.  Something to consider in 2020.

I read 35 books.  I have no idea how this compares to years past as I never track it, but in 2019 I decided to keep a log and a brief summary of what I read/thought about each book.  It felt like I read a ton in 2019, so perhaps it was more than usual.  Good intellectual stimulation.

I then categorized things that I loved and things I didn’t love, and things I felt neutral about in 2019.

The idea is to eliminate the things that were joyless for me in 2019 as I go into 2020, and bring more of the things I love into the New Year.

That way I am not unintentionally repeating things that resulted in nothing, or worse, a negative, in doing so.

I did my best to analyze what it meant with groupings of love/didn’t love in each section.  Best I could interpret:

I loved mostly everything I did in emotional, intellectual, physical, marital, avocational and social sections, so I should feel free reign to plan whatever I want in those areas.

In my career, I didn’t love things that were a no or uncomfortable for me.  This mostly boiled down to the business/strategy part of acting.  I loved the creating and the things that were challenging and felt like an accomplishment.  I didn’t love doing things not related to creating, but rather in the “step of the process you have to do in order to get work”.  That was a janky way of explaining.  Here’s a specific:

I planned out a photoshoot with 4 different looks because I want to show directors/producers/casting the roles I want to play.  I hired a stylist and we spent a full day buying wardrobe for this shoot.  Then I researched photogs and contacted many about my concept shoot.  I shot one of the looks with a photographer and am planning the remaining 3 in Jan/Feb.

I severely didn’t enjoy this process.  It was expensive, and I really do NOT like having my picture taken.  It’s very very uncomfortable for me and stressful and that comes across.

To add to the negative emotions, I felt neutral on any event in my career last year where it didn’t bear visible fruit.  I don’t know yet if these photos will actually make any difference, so I’ve nothing really to attach meaning to.

Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t do these business/strategy things in 2020, bc honestly, we don’t love every part of our jobs, but perhaps I don’t expend too much emotional energy on it.  Save that for the things I love.

Spiritually I loved the things I got payout from.  (That feels like a disgusting term to use in this category, but what I mean is that I got to use the gifts I was given and in turn, they were used and appreciated.)  For me, this meant singing at our annual Carols and Candlelight with a small group of excellent singers, practicing Sabbath every week, speaking at morning classes and sharing at communion.  These meant growth for me.

SO, in 2020, in all categories of planning, I should evaluate: Is it growth/challenge?  Is it creating?

If so, then it goes on the list bc the likelihood of me loving it is high.

Onto the new vision board.  All post its removed and new ones made of planned events for 2020.  At least 2 risks planned for each category, as well as events that I think sound interesting.

I won’t go into the specifics of these as some are personal, but I can say I’m pretty jazzed about this years outlook.  It’s filled with things I’m looking forward to and things that scare me, and to me, that means an incredible year.

I found the registration deadlines for different events and processed that to my 2020 planner so I made sure not to miss early bird dates.

I use a simple elephant planner as I have for the past 3 years.  I love this planner.  It works for me and keeps me on track, encouraging me to go back to my big 5 goals for the year and my mindmap of how I’ll achieve them, every few weeks.  simple-elephant-planner

Then I filled out the entire year.  I set specific days for specific recurring tasks- i.e., Tuesday mornings 6-8am writing, Wednesday 2 hours of instrument playing, Sunday 1 hour of sewing.  Then I set deadlines for different goals so that I’d know when I should be starting on them, and how far along I should be.  Those got placed in the planner.

If this all sounds like a lot, that’s because IT IS.  It was a massive amount of work.  But I am already feeling more free and more productive each day because it has taken the guess work and emotional drain of decision making out of the equation.  I get up, I look and see what’s on the agenda today, I do it.  I know that if I follow the plan, I will get to the end goal because that’s already been planned out.  Then I can expend my energy on the creating rather than the sporadic figuring it out.


And so, ladies and gents, I will wrap up this lengthy year end review with my career stats, as I always do.  Heads up, financially and on the surface level of what’s considered successful in acting,

I #epicfailed 2019.

But I know that I took major creative risks that I loved and learned from, so I feel no regrets.  Here’s to an amazing 2020!


  • 40 auditions
  • 10 callbacks
  • 2 avails
  • 2 bookings
  • 25% callback rate, 5% avail/book rate


  • 5 auditions
  • 1 callback
  • 20% callback rate, 0% book rate



  • 3 auditions
  • 0 callbacks, 0 bookings


  • 2 auditions
  • 1 callback
  • 50% callback rate, 0% book rate






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